Almost every week. I am 40, married with two teen boys, and my mom died 5 years ago. My dad was devastated. They had been such close partners and he was totally incapacitated by grief for months. I used to go over every Saturday and get food organized for him for the week, cooking a casserole or laying out everything for easy meals, and cleaning his house. He gradually came back to life, and it was so wonderful to see him smiling again and starting to joke with me again. I love my dad, and I look a lot like my mother, and I could see him thinking of her while watching me and it was kind of awful since then that reminded him of her not being here.
I sat him down one day and we talked while my roast was cooking, and he said he was coping and grateful for all the time he had had with her, and we talked about mom and how she liked certain things, and ..then he started crying and after a iittle bit of me comforting him he said he was so lonely for her touch. I began to massage his shoulders and back as we hugged, and I kissed him, and held him, and then I realized, I could maybe try to do something nice for him in a sexual way. I said, I love you dad and I want you to feel loved- you are loved! I hugged him and kissed him right on the mouth. He looked at me, and I said, I am willing to do something intimate for you like mom would, She always said she put family first and I feel the same way.
I said, Ii am sure you are touch starved, so Iet me give you a nice massage. I have time- would you like that? He nodded, and said I miss her so much. I said, ok just lay down on your bed and let me massage you. We went to their bedroom and I helped him take off his shoes and lay down on the bed, face down, and I massaged his back and legs and feet – through his clothes. He was so quiet and peaceful and when it was time to go finish the dinner he said, oh that felt so good. It felt good to me, too. It was like I was now as an adult woman, able to connect to him as an adult man, who was my father, but who I liked and respected and trusted- in a way that wasn’t really like with my husband, who I also love and respect and am very happily married to!
I gave him a massage each week after that, and to make it better I would have him take off his shirt, and then later his pants, and then turn over so I could do his front, and it was a really nice time between us. I actually felt good when he started getting a hard on since it meant he was perking back up and I joked about it with him, which was also very much a kind of release of tension. I can’t joke about my husband’s penis with him- yet, anyway. But I did then say, well, dad, that is impressive! and I touched it and asked if that felt good too, and he said, only ohhh. I took that as a yes, and I realized it was not going to be something we could talk about, but I ended up giving him a nice fondling and ipulsively I ended up giving him a blow job.
That was a turning point- but we had spent so much time together with me attending to him, that it seemed quite natural, and it felt really good to me, and it kind of connected me to my mom as well. sharing [I think] one of her experiences,and also seeing my dad in that vulnerable state. I let it happen again the next week,and then the next week he said, come lay with me, and when I lay down, he wanted to hold me and pressed himself against me and massaged my back as we hugged.
Each week we found ourselves getting closer and more sharing, and it was something I looked forward to as much as he did. We started having intercourse, but I was really worried about any accidents so Ii put two condoms on him. That was hitting too close to home, though, and was starting to interfere with how I felt when my husband and I had intercourse, so I told dad we had to stop that. But I felt giving him oral sex and letting him hug and kiss me was ok- a special treat for him and we did that for about 3 months.
As dad came back to life I realized that the emotions were changing, and so I told him we had to stopm, but that he was obviously now ready to have new companionship, and I wanted him to. I encouraged him to join some clubs and start to make himself available at church, and about 3 months later he did get a girlfriemd his own age, and they are a perfect match. It all turned out well, and I love my memories.